Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there’s something about them in that moment—their body is alive, there’s a light in their eyes, something—that makes you think, “I just really love you.”
It’s getting to the point where I lay in bed at night and think of ways I could kill myself.. like I honestly feel like everyone would freak out on twitter and shit and act like we were bestfriends but no fuck them all. I do not have one SINGLE person in this world I could call a friend of mine. Theyre all just faces that could give two fucks less about me and its so sad to me. Im done with all this bullshit. Im done trying
A lot of people complain about having no friends or being bored, but they have no fucking idea. I literally have NO friends. I’m never anyone’s first choice. Its cool though, i’m used to it.
I just really wish that every once in awhile someone would text me and want to hangout with ME. I always text people and ask if they’re busy and 99.9% of the fucking time they are. I don’t know what else i can do. I’ve literally gotten so desperate that I started smoking pot like a fiend because I thought if I did that I could hangout with different group of people who would actually like me and hangout with me but nope that didn’t work either. I honestly don’t know what else I can do. It’s just the same old story over and over. I don’t have a clue how I handle this bullshit.